How to Raise a Picky Eater

1. Make 3 different dinners for 3 different kids. Maintain this look on your weary face.



2. Let him hold you like an Iranian hostage at the dinner table.
3. Offer the same 2 meal choices every day for lunch and supper: Mac and cheese or chicken nuggets.
4. Don't ever take him to a supermarket.
5. Don't ever let him watch the Food Network.
6. Don't ever let him cook with you or make a total mess in the kitchen.
7. Tell him beige or white food = good. Any other color of the rainbow= bad, very bad!
8. Food with plastic cover + microwave directions = good!
9. Food that began as a seed = bad, very bad!
10. Make sure you eat from a drive thru daily.
11. NEVER under any circumstance are you to visit a farm, talk about a farm, or plant anything that grows on a farm.
12. Assume that he hates crust on ANYTHING (or hates any specific food) without consulting with him first.
13. Don't ever take him to an ethnic restaurant and lastly,
14. When he screams in horror over the chopped parsley in his food, run over immediately with a miner's hat and tweezers and pluck out each piece. Then, pull him tightly into your bosom and say "It's going to be OK, there, there. The bad green things are gone! Mommy's here to protect you!"

If you are interested in raising the anti-picky eater, then simply do the opposite. Add a dash  of Tough Love, a heavy handful of Patience, and a pinch of Faith. Simmer daily for the next 17 years and you have yourself a winner!