Friday, July 1, 2011

Why all Moms should take their little boys bathing suit shopping

I normally don't enjoy taking my kids clothes shopping,especially if those needed items are for moi. However, sometimes it's unavoidable and usually a little bribery (in this case, Trident gum) was enough to keep them happy. Considering what these 2 boys had to witness today in the dressing room, a better choice would have been Dove Chocolates or a trip to the Magic Kingdom.

I needed a bathing suit.

Yes, they did sit there watching; the 3 year old enamored with his gum wrapper, and the just turned 8 year old perched like an Olympic judge while I squeegied my way into the Land of Lycra.

Is it inappropriate for a mother to subject her sons to this? Maybe. But in my defense, I kept my bloomers on (like the sign says), and my eldest has already seen what's on the top shelf since his baby brother took up residence there for 15 months. They're just extra skin and stuff and someday all women will be allowed to mow their lawns shirtless like men do. I demand it! Wait, I don't mow the lawn.

Anyway, back to Lycra. The dressing room in any department store is a cruel, cruel place. For some reason, they still haven't realized that the lower the lighting, the better the sales. Why must the lights rival those of an operating room? Are they performing appendectomies on the off hours? Do we really need to see our facial hair, our spider veins and our cellulite all at 5000 mega pixels?

No. Which is why it's good to take your children on these adventures. You see, they don't judge. They don't critique that mass of veins on your legs, or the extra baggage you are carrying around on the lower shelf, or the less than perky top shelf. All they see is the pretty coral bathing suit and their Mom. Bingo. You are the most beautiful girl in the world to them.

I tried on 6 bathing suits and with each one, "Mom, that looks nice!" Not, "Mom, you have a short waist and should really try to e-longate it." or, "Your legs are so jiggly. You are so not buying THAT!"

Even though I couldn't find just the right suit for me, I still left the store with my head held high. The bribe gum remained intact and I was already looking forward to my next shopping trip with my kids.