Stars get gassy too, you know

I'm glad the Oscars are over. And the SAGs. And the Golden Globes. How many more awards shows do we need to stroke some already big egos? Why aren't there more awards shows for doctors, teachers, military members, scientists, chocolatiers, and MOTHERS? I guess that might be another blog?

Over time, the Red Carpet has evolved into more of a catwalk (or rather Catty Walk!). I am amazed at how much Monday morning quarterquacking we do in the following days and months when there are so many other news stories to report. Soldiers dying, jobs lost, mudslides, and mayhem. Yet, Sandra Bullock's hemline is the opening story.

Don't get me wrong. I love going to the movies. I love the escape of it all; two glorious hours of uninterrupted time to myself. I love to just sit and be entertained by someone who doesn't always have Thomas the Train undies on his head.

And I do watch all of these awards shows. I just can't help it. Even if I don't know who's nominated, I am compelled to watch The Red Carpet. Since I am fashionistically impaired, I like to see what the latest trends are... should I someday win the futuristic BOTY (Blogger of the Year) Award, I want to be sure that I don't make the Worst Dressed List, or even worse, the "B*tch Stole My Look" list. Nothing screams desperation more than wearing the same meat dress as Lady Gaga.

I'm always flummoxed by the depth of criticism cast by our media. Whether it's Al Roker, Joan Rivers (who is always right), Kelly Osbourne (how did SHE become a fashion critic?) or Perez Hilton (gag me). We are so very hard on our stars if they don't accessorize with just the right necklace, shoes, barrette, lipstick, or nipple ring.

We say things about Nicole Kidman's Golden Globe attire:

"I was very underwhelmed by her dress".

Really? Because I think the girl could throw a burlap sack over her body and look gorgeous. And her Oscar dress is already getting lousy reviews. During her red carpet interview last night she referred to her dress as "Comfortable. It doesn't look it, but it is!" she cheered. Was she overcompensating for a dress that was already getting tepid reviews? Poor thing. Can't a girl dress for comfort without being publicly humiliated? It's not like she was wearing a tutu, for heaven's sake!

Each year we set the bar higher and higher and hyper-scrutinize the stars who are really just people like you and me, only with airbrushing, better highlights, and donated jewels. Yes, it's hard to believe but they, too, use a toilet, get strange rashes, have hammer toes, and have occasional gas.

So when you are watching the next Red Carpet event, keep that in mind and maybe we all won't be so hard on their fashion choices.