Friday, February 25, 2011

Tutus and Fuzzy Boots

I am not sure when I got so ornery about Tutus and Fuzzy Boots. My Facebook status updates are evidence enough that they are definitely thorns in my side. I am hoping that if I write about them, I will not feel so negatively about them. After all,they are just inanimate objects, so why doth I protest so much?

And there are some perfectly nice people wearing them. I guess it's just one of my "things".

I am going to offend someone here who either:

1. Has a cute little girl who wears a tutu every day of her life, whether the child is submitting to forcible tutu wearing or simply insists on donning her tutu for all occasions.
2. Is a grown woman, child or infant who is wearing the UGGs, or some variation of the Fuzzy Boots.
So, you can hate me all you want. I get it. You have a right to wear or dress your child in whatever you want. Just like I have the right to wear my orange puffy coat with pink mittens in public. It really is all the same. So, I know I shouldn't judge and obsess, but I do. And here is why.

Tutus are in essence, a ballerina's uniform. They are technically not clothing for everyday. Would you dress a child in a lab coat, police uniform, or chef's hat every single day? No, that would be like Halloween or "Take your son to work" day apparel. Now, if the kid wants to play dress up or is in a phase where s/he will not go out unless s/he can wear the tutu, then I get it. We do have to pick our battles.

But to enforce tutus as everyday garb is just wrong.

Putting a tutu on a newborn baby with stockings underneath. Wrong.
Wearing a tutu to Mystic Aquarium in 33 degree weather. Wrong.
Middle schoolers in tutus and purple tights. Wrong.
Grown up women shopping in Walmart, Target, or having fun at the Gymboree with a tot? Wrong.
Are you with me now?

I guess I'm really so over the Madonna phase and it just brings back memories of the mesh tops and tutus. Just a bad fashion era. Period. Little girls are being socialized into these princesses so early on...when does it end? Only one can marry Prince William and I don't see her rockin' a tutu in the palace.

Perhaps I just don't get the fashion of today. I have 2 boys and don't run into these fashion dilemmas. In fact, the boys clothes are sorely lacking in variety. Is it possible I have Tutu Envy? Does this deep seated dislike stem from the fact that I never took dance lessons?

Now, onto the Fuzzy Boots or FBs. I might almost be "over" these. I think my disdain is really about women of, how shall I say it....a certain age, who should not be wearing them. Especially with pajama pants in public. Not like at the bus stop, but out to lunch, shopping, etc. Or seniors who are trying to look like they are part of the GenFB. Wrong. I think the young kids, under 22 can pull off this look and some older women too, if they wear the right pants with them.
But if you pair it up with a tutu, then I may have a full blown seizure.

The FBs do look nice and warm and cozy so you'd think I'd like them. I am all about comfort and warmth. But yesterday I saw a girl wearing a pair and I swear it looked like a Lhasa Apso on each leg with the fur cascading down her calves. I almost threw her (them) a Snausage.

So, the traditional FBs I think I'm OK with. But the ones who bark and go fetch....not so much.

As far as tutus go, I'm on the hunt for one in my size and hope to conduct a social experiment to see if I can rid myself of my Toxic Tutu Tantrums by wearing one in public to see what all the fuss is about.

There, I said it all. Love me or leave me.

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