Friday, November 12, 2010

It Takes a Village to Raise a Sugar Baby

My last blog really gave my mother too much credit (or blame) for creating this monster. Really though, like many addictions, other people should be blamed instead of any personal responsibility assumed by its rightful owner. Agreed?

I'd like to thank the following additional enablers who have supported my sugar habit along the way. Sorry Sugar Mama if you feel they are now stealing your thunder. They too shaped me into the true Sugar Baby I am today and to leave them out just wouldn't be right:

1. Mary Next Door.
She is the nicest neighbor known to mankind. Her house always smelled like the best chicken cutlets frying on the stove and her grilled cheeses would knock your leg warmers off.

But what I really liked going there for were her candy bars. You see, every time I entered Mary Next Door's house, I'd stand shyly next to her hutch drawers, just waiting to be asked the magical question all little red haired freckled girls long to be asked. "Becky, do you want some candy?" To which I'd reply in a meek voice, "Ok". Then I'd open the drawer to find the super size candy bars waiting to be ripped apart.

Thus began my love affair with the Milky Way.

Mary Next Door also gave out these same gigunda candy bars for Halloween. She never scrimped on the bite sized bars. No, she'd have a special box ordered just for this holiday and kids in drugstore costumes were being bussed in from all over for her candy.

2. My 8th grade gym teacher, Mrs. S.
I was always a very shy kid (imagine!) until I reached the 8th grade when I got contact lenses. My mom told me that people couldn't see my "pretty eyes" well enough under my Sally Jesse glasses. This was code for, "Sweetheart, you are wicked gawky looking and if I don't help you spruce up, you are going to be voted "Most Likely to be Found French Kissing Her David Cassidy Pillow in the Girls' Lav".

So, I got the lenses and they did wonders for my self-esteem. I got involved in many school activities and Student Council. Then my junior high experience peaked. Mrs. S bestowed the biggest, bestest responsibility that all kids dreamed of: The School Store.

The School Store was actually a glass counter top in the hallway. Inside laid the best candy, chips, popcorn, Doritos, you name it, oh and some school supplies... I think, but no one ever bought those. Back in the day, there were no obese children and schools could get away with selling crappy food to kids without the government intruding. It was glorious. (Oh, did I mention I'm now on the Wellness Committee at my son's school?).

So, you're thinking, "So what? You were in charge of a store that sold candy. It doesn't mean you actually ate it Becky, right?"

(See #3.)

3. My father, a.k.a. Sugar Daddy
While he was hyper vigilant about us eating everything green on our plates each night, his one mistake was his inattentiveness to his cigar box. He kept this baby on his bureau loaded with quarters. And I mean, loaded. Every morning after he left for work, I'd grab a handful of quarters and stuff my pockets. Come school store duty, I was ready to support my habit. I would literally buy 2 candy bars and a bag of cheese popcorn every single day and eat all of it before even going home. This was my healthy afternoon snack.
(Thanks Dad, for not counting your quarters at day's end.)

I am sorry if I have left out any Villagers who contributed to Sugar Baby's downfall. If you are reading this, please come forward and say your peace. The healing process has begun, big time.


Anonymous said...

Glad that Sugar Mama isn't take all the blame for your addiction. You'd better pay back those quarters. We need them for the casino now. :)

Debbie said...

Becky, you and I know the same culprits. They sure get around to many villages.

Becky's Big Bytes said...

Ha! Deb....who were/are your culprits? Would love to know!