Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Rodney King and Mommy Dearest Offer Advice for the Mother Hood

Two of my favorite quotes as they relate to The Mother Hood:

"Can't we all just get along" (Rodney King)

"Why must everything be a contest?" (Mommy Dearest to her 7 yr old Christina)

It seems motherhood has become a competitive sport. Everywhere. Blogs, Tweets, Facebook, the playground, the grocery store, anywhere is game for the sport. According to one recent study, cyberbullying moms are especially running rampant and are dominating the blogosphere. After all, it's much safer to type a comment than it is to go face to face with a mother. And it's cowardly. But a lot of women are doing it. And someone, somewhere is reading this and judging me, to which I say, "pflggtthhh". And PS. I just read a posting from a popular mom blogger who actually stopped blogging because she couldn't stand the constant ridicule from other moms about her life. Ouch.

I actually hesitated in writing about this topic for fear of being judged by my fellow sisters/mothers. Trust me, this blog is more about questions, than answers. So judge all you want.

But why judge at all? Who are we competing with and why? Are we so insecure with ourselves and our choices that we feel vindicated when we judge others? Do we judge and gossip because that is what women "do"? Or are we just so bored with our lives that we have nothing else to discuss?

Did our mothers and grandmothers behave this way? Did they whisper behind each other's backs, "Did you hear Eunice saw Mabel in Woolworth's buying three housecoats? How dare she spend that kind of money on herself!" And, "I think Rose just got one of those new machines that dries your clothes. I guess she'll be too good for us now. Hmpfh!"

I'll admit, today's moms are faced with challenges and choices our fore mothers weren't. Should we work or stay home after the kids are born. Or maybe we just don't have a choice in the matter. We do what we have to or need to given our circumstances. Some moms who work full-time wish they could stay home. Some moms who stay home, wish they could work. I personally think the best gig is working part time and enjoying the best of both worlds. Our nanas were content staying home with the kids.....or were they? The point is, we really are damned if we do and damned if we don't. Someone will have a judgment about our decisions. Breast or bottle, disposable or cloth diapers, paper or plastic. In the end, no one gets an award for being Super Mom but I do believe if you are the best mom you can be, then the rewards will speak for themselves when you are long gone.

Would men behave this way if they were able to bear children? I really don't think so. Instead, they'd be bragging about who has the biggest belly bump and bra cup size and who hurled the most in the first trimester. And cut to the delivery room, "Hey man, did you SEE the size of that placenta?"

Obviously, I don't have any answers and I have a twisted view of pregnant men.

Perhaps this blog might make The Mother Hood a nicer place to play and share together like we're always teaching our kids.

Why must everything be a contest? Can't we all just get along?


Rhonda G. said...

Becky, I love it!!!

Debra Turner said...

Becky, I wonder if the drama of reality TV is changing our perception of class and making us a more judgmental and less compassionate society? And that filters into our everyday behavior including when we go online.

Becky's Big Bytes said...

Hi Debra,
I think that's a very good point! Thanks so much for commenting. I just signed on as a follower of your blog : ). Very nice!

Keep in touch!