It Runs in the Family

So how did I become a Frugalista? Well, I think one is genetically predisposed to frugality and I'm certain I inherited the cheap gene from my Grampa Americo. For example, he used to re-upholster lawn chairs with leftover plaid or paisley fabric from his tailoring shop. He re-used tin foil. He would wrap frozen meats and veggies in cut up pieces of brown paper shopping bags and tie them up with string (I don't think they had Ziplocs back then.) When my North Carolinian cousin Tommy was showering in Grampa's bathroom, we heard, "Grampaww, where's the shamp-ooooo?" To which Grampa replied, "Use the soap!" He cut bath towels in half because he thought they were too big. Actually, he was right as he and Nana were vertically challenged so who needed the whole towel for those little bodies? This same rule applied to paper napkins. When he came to our house for supper, he'd cut the napkins in half, too. Grampa was the king of ingenuity and while he may have appeared cheap, I think he was one of the craftiest and most unique people. While scrimping and saving and patching up his signature baby blue button down sweater, he managed to have bank accounts for all his grandchildren. He was the most generous man and gave very little to himself. He was a master gardener and gave most of his veggies away to family and neighbors. He was a Jack of all Trades. He could pickle things, make wine, cook up a storm, reconstruct and sew the most intricate garments. RIP Grampa! You were truly one of a kind!

My husband and I moved into the apartment upstairs from Grampa when we first got married. We called it the "Compartment". I'll never forget our wedding night and not for the reasons you might think. Grampa was yelling through the floor to the newlyweds upstairs, "Whoooo left the hall light on?!" We just looked at each other and thought we were in the Bates motel for eternity. I knew I had found true love when my new husband did not hightail it out that night to spend our Bermuda honeymoon by himself!

I think the cheap gene skipped a generation and was passed on to me. I don't remember my parents being super-frugal and worrying about money. Oh wait... now I do remember my dad roaming the halls at 2 am like Columbo and his flashlight to ensure the thermostats were no higher than 67 degrees. And he'd always be turning lights off, every time we turned them on. Dad also invented the "Squeegee Method". This is performed after you have turned off the shower water. Before you pick up your towel to dry off, you take both hands and squeegee off the water down your soaking wet, freezing body and SQUEEZE the excess water down into the tub. I don't really know how this was supposed to save money. Perhaps the towel didn't get as wet and this was good why?

In case you are wondering, I still use the Squeegee Method and don't know any other way to dry off after a shower or a swim.

The Next Day...

One day you're getting your locks colored and highlighted at that fancy salon, dropping $140. The next, your mother is coloring your hair using a drugstore box of Garnier Nutrisse Brown Sugar #63 in the middle of your kitchen with an avocado green towel draped around your shoulders.

One day you are shopping at Nordstrom's for a new pair of shoes. The next, you are in a consignment store, haggling with the owner because $5 is too much for those hot pink clogs.

One day you are eating a fancy lunch out with the girls overlooking the water. The next, you find yourself brown bagging PB&J and a thermos of coffee, overlooking your desk name plate.

One night you go out on "date night" with your spouse because that's what all the Parenting magazines say you should do. The next, you're watching a library DVD on a picnic blanket on the living room floor with a flashlight as you munch on generic Cheese Doodles.

One day you are on a cruise ship sipping margaritas and eating shrimp. The next, you are stuffed inside an inflatable pool with 2 kids in your backyard sipping a Capri sun. Umbrella optional.

One day you are on top of the world and have no worries about money. The next? Can you hear the sound of Large Marge sitting on a whoopee cushion? That's the sound of the Recession my friends.

It's possible that some of you reading this have no concept of the above "Next day" examples and cannot identify with money troubles. If that is the case, I am very happy for you and I encourage you to continue stimulating the economy (someone has to, right?).

In recent blogs, I have made references to certain "Elephants in the Room". Well, this one is no exception. The big gray animal in question is not the Recession itself, but it is the Shame, Discomfort, and Fear we all feel about not having enough money to do certain things in life.

There, I said it and now I feel so...much...better!

The truth is, so many people are suffering financial and emotional losses and are so afraid to admit it for fear that people will look down on them. I always feel that honesty is the best policy in life, unless you are asking a question to which you really don't want the honest answer. Like, honey, does my butt look fat in these lycra tights?

So, for now, I'm just throwing this concept out there for you to think about and digest. Money doesn't define you as a person, a wife, mother, father, sister, brother, son, daughter or friend. Having more of it and more material possessions does not make you superior to anyone and conversely, having less of it doesn't make you inferior. Money might give you a lot of peace of mind, but it sure does not buy true, inner peace and happiness.