When I became a mother, I had some clue as to how life would be....or so I thought. You never really know until you are in the trenches, up for nights on end; feeding, changing, nursing, crying (yours), repeat. And you think the hard work is just when they are babies but there is always a new stage to contend with and as good as your little angels are, it's still a lot of freaking work and it never goes away. Sure, you can grab a date night, an hour nap, or a one way run down the street screaming your head off for only so long. The job of motherhood is always there; 365 day/year job which pays you squat. Your leash is a short one, no matter how you slice it. The job violates every labor law out there. Why hasn't the Department of Labor intervened by now?
One recent article sparked some controversy. Take a look here. It's about parents who love their kids but hate their lives. If you are childless by choice, this article will make you feel validated. If you have kids, well, I can't tell you how you feel. If you wish you had kids, then please don't read the article. Personally, I love being a mother and feel that it is one of my "vocations" in life that I was meant to do, and if that sounds too corny for you then, too bad. I do have other hopes and dreams aside from all the glory and goo that is motherhood. But it's not easy, none of it. No matter who you are, whether you are a SAHM (Stay At Home Mom) or a WOHM (Work Outside Home Mom), we are all working our fannies off, right? Aren't we all doing what is best for our families and ourselves? Isn't that enough? I think it is. No one gets a prize when it's all over that says, "She made her own dough" or "She sewed all the kids' clothes". The prize is that everyone got out alive and mostly unscathed at the end of each day.
I know plenty of parents (many are very close friends) who have severely disabled or chronically ill children. Their kids' medical needs are never ending and their futures are unpredictable, at best. And do you know what is interesting about them? I NEVER hear them complain about their kids. And do you know why? Because they are just plain grateful to have those children, problems and all. Then, there are the parents who are given the most precious, perfect and healthy children and for whatever reason, do not see it. They complain about every little thing.
We all have our days. But to say that a person "hates their life" as a result of having children makes me cringe. Do you view having a child as a blessing or a burden? Every day and every night, and many times in between, I am counting my blessings, big and little.
Showing posts with label parenthood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenthood. Show all posts
Friday, December 2, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
Teen Mom vs. Peri-Meno-Mom
Over the weekend, I actually had about an hour to myself. One kid napping, the other at a friend's house. I could have exercised, slept, baked, or phoned a friend. What did I do instead, you ask? I turned on MTV and watched Teen Mom 2
If you are unfamiliar with this show, it's about real life teen moms who are trying to make it work. Most of the girls are living with their parents, or their baby daddy's parents. Some are still in high school, trying to graduate. One is losing custody of her son to her own mother. Another is petrified that one of her twin girls is not developing properly. Her story was heartbreaking to watch. Damn you MTV! I just wanted a little mindless TV and you give me this?
I am not here to judge the Teen Moms or make a big political statement about birth control or abstinence. Although I do think God has a strange sense of humor when he passes out babies to certain people; not the teen moms, per se. Just in general. I do applaud them for trying their best and I'm rooting for all of them.
But I do have a few issues with the Teen Moms that make me wonder who has the leg up: The Teen Mom or the Peri Menopausal Mom? Since I am one of the "Advanced Maternal Aged" mothers, I thought I'd offer a little perspective on who might have it easier. Or not.
The Teen Mom
1. She has better highlights than me.
2. She has a nicer vehicle than me.
3. She has prettier finger nails than me.
4. She gets a lot of Girlfriend time.
5. She has mastered the art of holding a baby like it's a sack of spuds on her hip. All the moms flop their little tater tots around in the same way, like they all took the same Small Fry class, perhaps?
6. She has lost all her baby weight before leaving the hospital.
7. She doesn't care about hurting her "in-laws'" feelings.
8. It's OK to change baby's diaper on the floor of a public rest room and say "Eww, sorry baby, this is gross", minimizing the 'ick' factor of the experience.
9. You can live with your baby daddy and his parents while simultaneously announcing you are "In a relationship" with someone else on Facebook. But then you get grounded for it which really sucks.
10. The teen mom will be a grandma by the age of 32 and a great grandma by age 48 (if history repeats). The plus side here is that she will be young enough to baby sit all the babies her babies are having. Down side? She will be spending her life baby sitting her baby's baby's baby's babies til she dies.
The Peri-Meno-Momma
1. She has a higher FICO score.
2. She doesn't need to have her Mommy cosign for a cell phone.
3. Her vehicle is paid for.
4. She's old enough to drink.
5. And vote
6. And have a gym membership she doesn't use.
7. All her friends throw lavish baby showers, thus eliminating the need to buy anything for baby until he's two.
8. She can afford a Spanx to conceal the baby weight she hasn't lost yet.
9. She has lower auto insurance rates.
10. Her grandchildren will have to wheel her around and change her diapers
11. And although she was nominated for a Saggy Award, she really doesn't care because her spouse can no longer see very well and those things really aren't that important to him. Well, that's what he says, anyway.
Who do you think has it easier or better? Do share your thoughts below!
If you are unfamiliar with this show, it's about real life teen moms who are trying to make it work. Most of the girls are living with their parents, or their baby daddy's parents. Some are still in high school, trying to graduate. One is losing custody of her son to her own mother. Another is petrified that one of her twin girls is not developing properly. Her story was heartbreaking to watch. Damn you MTV! I just wanted a little mindless TV and you give me this?
I am not here to judge the Teen Moms or make a big political statement about birth control or abstinence. Although I do think God has a strange sense of humor when he passes out babies to certain people; not the teen moms, per se. Just in general. I do applaud them for trying their best and I'm rooting for all of them.
But I do have a few issues with the Teen Moms that make me wonder who has the leg up: The Teen Mom or the Peri Menopausal Mom? Since I am one of the "Advanced Maternal Aged" mothers, I thought I'd offer a little perspective on who might have it easier. Or not.
The Teen Mom
1. She has better highlights than me.
2. She has a nicer vehicle than me.
3. She has prettier finger nails than me.
4. She gets a lot of Girlfriend time.
5. She has mastered the art of holding a baby like it's a sack of spuds on her hip. All the moms flop their little tater tots around in the same way, like they all took the same Small Fry class, perhaps?
6. She has lost all her baby weight before leaving the hospital.
7. She doesn't care about hurting her "in-laws'" feelings.
8. It's OK to change baby's diaper on the floor of a public rest room and say "Eww, sorry baby, this is gross", minimizing the 'ick' factor of the experience.
9. You can live with your baby daddy and his parents while simultaneously announcing you are "In a relationship" with someone else on Facebook. But then you get grounded for it which really sucks.
10. The teen mom will be a grandma by the age of 32 and a great grandma by age 48 (if history repeats). The plus side here is that she will be young enough to baby sit all the babies her babies are having. Down side? She will be spending her life baby sitting her baby's baby's baby's babies til she dies.
The Peri-Meno-Momma
1. She has a higher FICO score.
2. She doesn't need to have her Mommy cosign for a cell phone.
3. Her vehicle is paid for.
4. She's old enough to drink.
5. And vote
6. And have a gym membership she doesn't use.
7. All her friends throw lavish baby showers, thus eliminating the need to buy anything for baby until he's two.
8. She can afford a Spanx to conceal the baby weight she hasn't lost yet.
9. She has lower auto insurance rates.
10. Her grandchildren will have to wheel her around and change her diapers
11. And although she was nominated for a Saggy Award, she really doesn't care because her spouse can no longer see very well and those things really aren't that important to him. Well, that's what he says, anyway.
Who do you think has it easier or better? Do share your thoughts below!
Monday, June 14, 2010
When We Were Little....
Ahhh, you know you're getting old when you start uttering those 4 words. It's true though, don't you think? Times are really so different now for kids and parents. It's all so wacky to me, I thought I'd reminisce about the way things used to be when I was a youngster.
Yes, "I was young once too", is another thing I hear myself saying. Argh!!
When we were little:
1. There were no "Play Dates". We just went to the neighbor's house to play for hours and our parents never ever checked on us. They must have figured, the less they knew, the better. Now, kids have scheduled playtime and it's written on a calendar (in my world of paper and pen, or on one of those new-fangled techno-devices people are using nowadays). We played well into the night, a game called "Manhunt" which today, sounds like something on the Nancy Grace show.
2. There were no SAHMs (Stay At Home Moms). Well, they were there, but they just weren't called that! The SAHMs from days of yore actually STAYED HOME, whereas the SAHMs of today are always gallivanting. Amen sisters.
3. To enrich our lives we played "school", "ice cream truck", Monopoly, Sorry, CandyLand, Yahtzee, Checkers, etc. In our house, we played "Step on Stomachs" to see who could endure the most pain. There was no Little Gym, no Mommy & Me Yoga class, no Baby Einstein DVDs (what the heck was a DVD, we didn't even have VCRs back then), no toddler piano and French lessons, and certainly no Gymboree.
4. Our mothers didn't obsess or stress over which diapers to use (most of them used cloth as it was before the invention of Pampers!), which formula to use, which car seats to buy (ha, lucky we all made it out alive!), there were no choices and no crash studies. There was no Babies R' Us. Just K-Mart, Ann & Hope, & Sears. There were no Binky holders, Baby Bjorns, travel systems, and wipe warmers.
We were bathed in a basin at the foot of our driveway (and if you don't believe me, I have a picture of my brother in one to prove it.)
5. Some of our mothers smoke and drank during pregnancy (not that I am condoning this!) and now, you can't even eat feta cheese or lunch meat while prego. Just merely pointing out one of the many differences in prenatal care.
6. Positive Reinforcement was not yet invented. Its evil sister, "The Secret Pinch" you got in public, was however, very much alive.
Somehow, my generation managed to produce some highly successful people. We did not suffer irreparable harm, only required a standard dose of psychotherapy here and there, and escaped with minimal scarring.
When I am struggling with a parenting dilemma, big or small, I ask myself just one question:
Will this decision adversely affect my child in 20 years? The answer is always a resounding "no" and always keeps me grounded in reality.
So truly, bathing a baby in the driveway is OK. Although, my brother might disagree!
Yes, "I was young once too", is another thing I hear myself saying. Argh!!
When we were little:
1. There were no "Play Dates". We just went to the neighbor's house to play for hours and our parents never ever checked on us. They must have figured, the less they knew, the better. Now, kids have scheduled playtime and it's written on a calendar (in my world of paper and pen, or on one of those new-fangled techno-devices people are using nowadays). We played well into the night, a game called "Manhunt" which today, sounds like something on the Nancy Grace show.
2. There were no SAHMs (Stay At Home Moms). Well, they were there, but they just weren't called that! The SAHMs from days of yore actually STAYED HOME, whereas the SAHMs of today are always gallivanting. Amen sisters.
3. To enrich our lives we played "school", "ice cream truck", Monopoly, Sorry, CandyLand, Yahtzee, Checkers, etc. In our house, we played "Step on Stomachs" to see who could endure the most pain. There was no Little Gym, no Mommy & Me Yoga class, no Baby Einstein DVDs (what the heck was a DVD, we didn't even have VCRs back then), no toddler piano and French lessons, and certainly no Gymboree.
4. Our mothers didn't obsess or stress over which diapers to use (most of them used cloth as it was before the invention of Pampers!), which formula to use, which car seats to buy (ha, lucky we all made it out alive!), there were no choices and no crash studies. There was no Babies R' Us. Just K-Mart, Ann & Hope, & Sears. There were no Binky holders, Baby Bjorns, travel systems, and wipe warmers.
We were bathed in a basin at the foot of our driveway (and if you don't believe me, I have a picture of my brother in one to prove it.)
5. Some of our mothers smoke and drank during pregnancy (not that I am condoning this!) and now, you can't even eat feta cheese or lunch meat while prego. Just merely pointing out one of the many differences in prenatal care.
6. Positive Reinforcement was not yet invented. Its evil sister, "The Secret Pinch" you got in public, was however, very much alive.
Somehow, my generation managed to produce some highly successful people. We did not suffer irreparable harm, only required a standard dose of psychotherapy here and there, and escaped with minimal scarring.
When I am struggling with a parenting dilemma, big or small, I ask myself just one question:
Will this decision adversely affect my child in 20 years? The answer is always a resounding "no" and always keeps me grounded in reality.
So truly, bathing a baby in the driveway is OK. Although, my brother might disagree!
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